Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
