you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
