READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
