I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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