and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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