Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
