what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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