I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
