i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
