i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
