Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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