i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
When are your genitals available?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
