I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
