I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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