sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
