Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
