she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
