when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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