im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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