we're chasing vodka with high fives
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
