singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
