That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
