Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
