Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
