I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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