Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i came on her dog
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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