Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
