so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he thought i was a dude.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
