I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
