I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
