Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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