don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
