he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
