garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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