I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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