Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
