I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
