road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I believe in your delicious
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
