I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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