i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
