Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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