we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
