i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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