TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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