She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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