I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
