I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
do nipples grow back?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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