I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
