just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
