We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
