overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
