Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
